Vtipné nielen počítačové hlášky

"640km ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
"User" is a four letter word.
A dog 's life is not fun.
A fool and his money are sysop material.
Avoid hangovers: Stay drunken.
Be a hero: Give blood.
Blow your mind ... Smoke Gunpowder.
Daddy, what does FDISK do?
Dizajn flaws travel in groups.
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
FAMM scendere, Max.
God is real ... unless Declared integer.
Gravity is a myth. The Earth sucks.
Happiness is a warm boot.
Health is simply the slowest way to die.
How to double your hard drive space: Delete Windows.
Aj'd kill Flipper for a good tona sandwich right now.
Im not illiterate - my parents were married.
Aj do not drink water. Fish fuck in it.
Aj do not say much but I make a big noise.
Illiterates do it without caps.
It 'better to burn out than it is to rast.
Junk: Stuff we throw away. Stuff: Junk we keep.
Keyboard missing, press F13 to continue.
Look at the bugs and be happy.
My other computer is an Ono Sendai.
Never play LeapFrog with a unicorn.
Nothing is not worth nothing but it 's free.
OS / 2 VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? [Y, y]"
Putt knôt Yore trussed inn Spall Chequers!
Real programmers use COPY CON Program.exe
REALITY.SYS corrupted - reboot Universe [Y, n]?
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.
Sex is natural, but not if it 's done right.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
Television is democracy at its ugliest.
Thisoriginline­createdusingpkzip1­.10
Undocumented features will rule the Earth!
We now return to our regularly scheduled mail war.
We want the world and we want it now.
What?!? DOSSHELL is not supposed to be a joke?
Wherever you go, there you are.
Which is better: CP / M 2.2 or OS / 2 2.0?
You can not have your cake and eat it too.
Your circuit 's dead, there' s something wrong.
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
Too young disk in drive A:!
Warning: Your monitor is RADIOACTIVE!
Insert hamburger in drive B:!
Sorry, your system is too dirty for me ...
Fuck your sekretárka, not me!
Kiss my ... (keyboard)!
Insert tractor toilet paper into printer!
Microsoft Mouse: Beware of cats!
Bad command or operator.
Warning: Too many floppies in one drive!
Your hard disk has been formatted ...
There is something rotten in your computer!
External Error: INTELLIGENCE not found!
Always make a backup copy of your sex partner!
ERROR !!! Press quickly ALT-CTRL-DEL!
Critical ERROR: Use hammer.
Insert floppy disc in drive D:
Do you speak in Turbo Pascal?
Sorry, but ... do you have a brain?!?
Your Hard Disc is dead, but Eddie lives!
Remove the CRT of monitor!
ATENTION! RAM is write - protected !!!
Eddie lives ... allready in this time!
Shut power down & press any key!
All protective devices failed, call GHOSTBUSTERS
ATENTION !: High voltage on keyboard!
Close eyes for safety reasons.
All viruses found.
Your mouse is hungry!
Memory failed. Use paper.
All rights released.
This Hard disk is write only.
WARNING! Smog in drive Q:
Your Hard disk went soft.
Your coprocessor needs a bath!
This program is not good. Try another one.
File not found - Should I fake it?

Ďalšia séria:
Procesor nenašiel. Má ho systém WINDOWS emulovať ??
Je nutné reštaurovať register. Odporúčame to isté aj obsluhu!
Prebieha defragmentácia EPROM s BIOSom. Bude to chvíľu trvať ...
Press F13 to continue ...
Pozor !!! Monitor je napadnutý vírusom !!!
Katastrofický nedostatok systémových zdrojov
... Vložte ďalší procesor a stlačte ENTER!
Keyboard not present. Press ENTER to continue ...
Nový program - WIN.COM znižuje výkon systému.
Mouse is hungry. Insert cheese in drive A: and press ENTER when ready !!!
Došlo k výnimke na adrese 3BAA 31EB. Počítač sa asi stratia.
Detekovaný nový hardvér - sie? Ový spínač. Vložte inštalačný CD-ROM 15
Teraz sa pripravuje posledná reštart tohto počítača ...
Pokiaľ pri behu systému stále dochádza k chybám, otvorte okno a použite hardvérové urýchlenie ...
Katastrofická chyba nastala pri pokuse o oznámení kóde chyby číslo 3516756427.
Systém WINDOWS nenaštartuje úplne, po reštarte 3x stlačte RESET.
FATAL ERROR - Windows found !!! Format drive now ??? (Y / Y)
Pevný disk neobsahuje žiadnu chybu! Je nutné spustiť SCANDISK.
Press any key to continue or any key to quit ...
Port pre tlačiareň nenašiel, použite ceruzku a papier !!!
To shut down your system type "WIN" ...
Pripravuje sa sprievodca spustením tohto počítača. Prosím čakajte ...
BRUTAL ERROR - Windows starting. Press RESET to continue.

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